Monday, March 22, 2010

This too shall pass....

I was married at 22. Some thought I was too young for such a life-changing decision. They were wrong. My husband was the one who wasn't ready. After seven years of trying for both of us, I was left holding all of the marital responsibilities, and he moved in with his mother.
The impact was sudden, but the entanglement of grief was broad. Deep waves of failure washed over me; covering everything beautiful with murky, dark, emotional waters. The perplexity of my marriage was overwhelming. I struggled. With bills twice the size of my paycheck, a mortgage, one dog, three cats, and a part-time job, I fought for every breath. I crumbled.

Then slowly, so slowly, it began to change. I got another job. Then two. I made myself go out with friends. I got comfortable being alone. I listened. I learned about me.
The pain eased the tiniest bit with every sunset, and soon I decided I wasn't "that girl" that pined for her lost love. I was done crying for him. There was no future in holding on to a broken past. I had no idea how difficult it would be, but I knew I had to reconstruct my life.

With the support of family (both mine and his), I slowly started to unpick the ball of knotted yarn my life had become. Knots turned to tangles, which became snags, and eventually shifted to kinks. I was turning 30. It was time to start living.
I am now 40 and truly happy. I have realized all the heartbreaks and struggles brought very valuable lessons. We all have our own journeys to take, our own stories to write. From my heartbreak I learned to love. From my struggle I learned my personal strengths, my weaknesses. From my spirit I learned it's not what happens to us that makes us who we are, rather how we react that makes us stronger.



  1. Well written and well said. My favorite line.

    "From my spirit I learned it's not what happens to us that makes us who we are, rather how we react that makes us stronger."

    I like how you wove the pics in too!

  2. Thanks Kate. I know eventually I'll be fine. I keep looking for life's fast-forward button, but haven't found it yet, dammit.